TRZY MIESIECY

I am back in Poland.

After one month of traipsing around Europe- visiting Spain, Switzerland, France, and Portugal- I am glad to be home again.

Getting readjusted here was not as difficult as I originally thought it would be. Poland is much different than the parts of Europe I spent most of my November visiting: much less wealthy, much colder, much darker, much gloomier in general.

I came back to find Christmas cheer everywhere I looked. Christmas trees now line the Rynek, bright Christmas lights hang from all of the lamp posts, and rows and rows of vendors selling traditional polish goods have set up shop. In about a week, a huge ice skating rink will take up half of the city center. The city has never looked so beautiful.

At first, it made me a bit nostalgic for home. Actually, that is an understatement. I sobbed on a bench as my friend Lucy consoled me. When the crying subdued I looked around and realized how silly it is to waste even one day here being upset. I feel like my exchange year will never end (because I never want it to) but, all good things come to an end and lately I have been trying to figure out exactly what it is that I want to get out of this year.

Here’s what I have thus far: I want to learn polish- well. It is really frustrating to look like a bumbling fool all of the time. Even the McDonald’s cashiers stop me mid-sentence and start speaking fluent English. I get really nervous every time I try to speak, because it is LITERALLY difficult to make my mouth form the sounds required to speak well.

My writing abilities have sharply declined- I spend most of my time here speaking broken English or broken polish. As a result, this blog is choppy and poorly written. Przeprasam, Mrs. Webb.

Lately, I am struck by the small differences I now notice between polish and American culture. Yesterday I attended the funeral of my host mother’s mother. The church service was beautiful. The catholic high mass here is sort of breathtaking: the music is unbelievable. I could not really understand the sermon because I definitely cannot understand rapid polish, but the atmosphere gave me goosebumps.

Family comes first in Poland. This is not to say that family is not important in the United States, because it is. In Poland, it is important on an entirely different level. On Sundays, most families have obiad (lunch) together and spend the day relaxing at home together. As an exchange student, I have had the opportunity to meet many different host families of my fellow exchange students. All of these families do things a little bit differently but the importance of family is constant. When I visit another exchange students home, the “mamo” always makes a gigantic dinner for us- its incredibly generous. At home, it is never expected that my parents prepare a feast for my friends when they come over. I am perfectly happy preparing spaghetti to feed the masses. In Poland, I swear, they genuinely enjoy cooking and watching us eat. The four kilos I have gained since I arrived here has something to do with this. It’s the best weight I have ever gained. The food is delicious.

It is hard to describe my life here. I find it dull to simply recap each day’s events- because if listed off in bulleted form they are not all that interesting. But each day is a learning experience. Henry Miller said that “ each step is a leap in the dark.” And each day is a step toward something. I cannot figure out what that something is quite yet.

I have never felt more alive. That sounds pretty stupid and naive, but it is really true. In three months, I feel like I have found out things about myself that I never would have found out had I not come here. I was talking to Patrycja the other day when I was feeling a bit homesick (I feel homesick from time to time, but I have learned how to cope) and she said something that I will remember for the rest of my year here: “Julia, exchange in Poland is not easy. But I swear, living in Poland makes you stronger.”

And she is right. This language is bardzo trudne. Very difficult.

The people are not crazy Mexicans or boisterous Brazilians.

It is hard to make friends because polish teenagers are often shy.

Poland makes you stronger. This place really helps a person grow.

I am currently sitting in Starbucks. (Starbucks here is really cheap, and it has free wireless so its the perfect place to come and write.) It is eight in the morning. I woke up at five fifteen and got to the city around seven. I love this city in the morning. I am here because I am trying desperately to start writing the book I have said I’ll write forever now. I want to finish it by the end of the year. Wroclaw, Poland fosters the creative spirit. Everywhere you look there are artists, musicians, and aspiring writers on the streets, in cafes, riding trams. They call Wroclaw “the meeting place.”

Tomorrow is thanksgiving! I will try (gasp) to make a thanksgiving dinner with my exchange “family” because my exchange friends really have become my family away from home. We will make dinner for my host mom and hopefully it turns out alright. I am not going to lie: it is difficult to be away from home for the holidays, but in a month they will be over and it will be better.

I’m off now. More later. :)

Happy thanksgiving! Love and miss you all!

Julia